Debriefing DACA in the Writing Class

When given a chance, students testify to their desire for meaningful lessons. As one student wrote in an exit ticket, “Teachers can help us learn . . . about real life.” In an online discussion, students agreed they want to know how to deal with issues they encounter in their lives. They want relevant lessons that apply to their lived realities. That and the fact that our campus is located in Chula Vista, a stone's throw from the border, compelled me to discuss the repeal of the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrival (DACA). As a college professor, I have a duty to address an issue that affects so many in our community. I am also obligated to show students how a critical thinkers might approach these kind of issues.

Renew & Reflect #5: Positivity (& SWCBlogger Challenge #5, too!)

I admit it. This post is a bit of a cheat. I'm answering the question, "How do I stay positive and share/encourage positivity with my students?" for two blog challenges: Teach Thought Online Community's Reflect and Renew and the SWC Blogger's challenges. My prerogative, since I chose the prompt for this week's SWC Bloggers!

I wish I had written the post my colleague Adjective's Noun from SWC Bloggers wrote. I nodded my head every paragraph, both out of recognition and not a little bit of guilt. As Adjective's Noun writes, my own positivity has everything to do with how balanced my life is and how truthful I am about the lack of balance. 

Indicted. And willing to make a change. So today, I gave myself an hour to listen to a fun podcast while I cleared out a room my husband and I have been meaning to make more livable On the face of it, tidying may not sound like a balancing practice, but truth is, it felt nice. I actually invested in making our space less cluttered, a place we can enjoy coming home to. And I got to crack a grin as I caught up on my favorite podcast. 

Renew and Reflect #4: Teaching Development Plan

Movin' slow  . . . but moving! 

That's my typical reply to folks who ask me how I'm doing. That phrase describes my progress on the January Renew and Reflect Blog Challenge, moving, but oh, so slowly.  

The question: What is one area of my learning and teaching I want to develop this year?"

Glad it's just one. It's easy for me to make lists of what I need to improve. Questions like these force me to focus. Deep breath. 

My big teaching goal is to ratchet up my record keeping and paper work skills. This means keeping up with add/drop deadlines (made it) and census reports (blew it). Lemme do that right now. . . 

Renew & Reflect #3: Extending the Challenge!

TeachThought's Reflect and Renew Blog Challenge asks us up the ante of this connected community - get colleagues involved to help create a community of practice. This prompt gives me a chance to brag about what me and the blogger behind Eat the Yolk  are experimenting with on our own campus. 

We both accepted last September's challenge and were immediately hooked - f0r all the good reasons that the TeachThought online community touts as benefits. We both agreed that reserving time to read and write blogs was personally and professionally rewarding. 

So we took a chance. We launched our own little connected community for our campus. Toward the end of the semester, we held a couple small workshops to promote the idea of using blogs to reflect on our practice and connect with each other. We decided on weekly challenges rather than daily. And instead of a single prompt per challenge, the group decided to have two options.

Renew & Reflect Challenge #2: What Makes my Teaching Unique

Today's question posed by TeachThought's Renew and Reflect Blog Challenge is the kind of the that work my nerves: "What do I consider unique about my teaching?" 

Blech! 

The question bugs me for at least two reasons: 1) I don't think my teaching is all that unique, which taps into my insecurities about being an impostor; and conversely,  2) questions like this make it super easy to dissemble answers that make me look like a better teacher than I am, compelling me be "that" knows it all. The question rankles like job interview questions where I avoid short-selling myself and overstating my skills.

Reflect & Renew: Challenge #1 - How Students Learn Best

Hooray for the blog challenges posed by TeachThought's online community!  The challenges have been so, so helpful. And so I accept the January's Reflect and Renew in 2015 challenge. Perhaps not every day or every question. But I've come to appreciate keeping a commitment to writing and reflecting. Big time.

The first prompt asks, "What are my beliefs about how students learn best?"  I'll answer in a list, with the caveat that these are stated ideas and values. Applying and practicing these beliefs requires  daily commitment. A work in progress. Here goes: 

Attitude of Gratitude #29: Inspirational Person

He reminded me of a young Santa Claus, the bearded Kris Kringle character from the Rankin-Bass Christmas special Santa Claus is Coming to Town. While the stop-motion character had red hair, Glen was tow-headed. But his eyes were just as animated. They twinkled. I thought twinkling eyes was a figure of speech, but his eyes glittered when he smiled.  

Those of who knew Glen competed for those smiles. Sometimes his grins indicated gleeful mischief. Other times, the twinkle would be half hidden in a side-eye, signaling an inside-joke, a private message.
 My favorite memories of Glen's smile happened in his office, him in his worn leather office chair, pipe clenched between his teeth, He'd chuckle at something naive I said or beam at me when I said something sharp or witty. I can't smell cherry tobacco without thinking of him.

Glen was my mentor, role-model. His memory continues to inspire me. I worked for him in one of my former incarnations at a non-profit human relations organization that promoted interracial, interreligious, and multicultural dialogue. Dialogue, as we defined it, is the frank and free discussion of we truly believe in an environment of mutual trust and respect. Our charge was to promote discussion between groups separated by significant social distance, groups like race, culture, gender, sexual orientation, class, religion, age.

Attitude of Gratitude #28: Missed Opportunity?

As I get older, I can look back over my life and notice the defining moments, those singular events that seemed random at the time but had huge impact on who and where I am today. A chance meeting with the man who would become my husband, the last minute invitation to a workshop that led to graduate school, taking that random general education course that ignited my passion for literature. What seemed insignificant at the time altered the course of my life.

From my present vantage point, I can also see  other moments that, when they occurred, disappointed me, discouraged me, dashing my hopes and putting my life on hold. Or at least that's what I experienced then. I didn't get what I wanted, that promotion, relationship, or recognition I thought would complete me.

I've slowly come realize that missed opportunities are often than a path to something else more satisfying. Perspective shows me that I often don't know what's best for me.

Today's TeachThought blog challenge prompt asks me to consider that awareness: "Talk about an opportunity that I am grateful in hindsight for having passed me by." For me, that would be not getting hired as a counselor, a job I thought was for me when I took a graduate degree in counseling. I came close to getting hired (twice!), all the way to the final interview. But, twenty-five years later, I'm glad they turned me down. Had I been offered those jobs, I doubt I'd be here today, teaching English. 

Attitude of Gratitude #27: Perfect Day

Today's Attitude of Gratitude blog challenge asks me to imagine a great day: "If you could bottle up the perfect day, what would it look like?" 

This question is harder than I'd expected. I have bits, bytes and notions about the elements of a perfect day - time with my husband, a good book, coffee with a friend, a delicious meal (or three), the buzz after a good work-out (not the work out, just the buzz), 

Teaching didn't make the list that first popped in my head. Yet that's precisely where I invest most of my time and energy, to my husband's chagrin. They say that where you spend your time and energy indicates our true values, the values we live. 

Reminds me of a scene from The Devil Wears Prada where the protagonists' boyfriend points out the gap between her stated and lived values. When Anne Hathaway's character and and her boyfriend Nate argue about her priorities - her job and their relationship - her cell phone starts beeping. After hesitating, she takes the call. Nate sighs,"You know, in case you were wondering - the person whose calls you always take? That's the relationship you're in. I hope you two are very happy together."

Attitude of Gratitude #26: Simple Pleasures

I sit here at my make-shift office in my bedroom, before my day has officially begun, nursing a cup of flavored coffee (Torani's, sugar-free raspberry). I've just checked my vitals: work emails, Facebook, Twitter feed. And I've already eyeballed my blogger stats to see if anyone has commented on a post. Seeing the likes, favorites, and comments gives me a kick, almost as strong as the coffee I'm sipping.

I admit it. I'm addicted to attention and caffeine.  Both activities light up my brain's pleasure centers. Like drugs can. Or shopping does. Or hitting it big on the slots. This daily coffee and social media ritual gives me a relatively benign kick to get my day started. 

My morning routine definitely makes the list for today's Attitude of Gratitude blog challenge: "Write about any 3 small pleasures in your life/day." Here are the other two:

Attitude of Gratitude #25: Let It Go!

I must be one of very few people who hasn't seen Disney's  Frozen or knows the music from the film. When I told a friend that today's Attitude of Gratitude blog challenge asks about what I'd like to let go of, she joked that I should embed Idina Menzel's rendition of "Let it Go" from the film. Um, no. 

This is an easy challenge. I'd like to let go of insecurity, the sort that plays out in humblebragging and fishing for compliments. I have to be on constant guard against this, with my peers and especially when sharing on social media and blogging. But you already knew that.

I do like sharing. I am social. And I get a lot out of interacting with others, from being a part of and contributing to a community. But insecurity is an ongoing problem, detracting from the good intentions behind sharing. Less so now, but insecurities can flare up like an allergy or fibromyalgia. My insecurity plays out when I think I'm helping someone by sharing ideas or offering suggestions. Often. Unbidden. Relentlessly. Someone will simply share a problem he or she encounters, and I will launch into how I solved that problem, under the guise of being helpful, of course. Eeew. 

Attitude of Gratitude #24: My Dream? Do Away with Grades!

Participating in TeachThought's blogging challenges introduced me to a host of bloggers and education websites. Educators from all over the world share lessons, digital gadgets, philosophies of teaching and learning, and all kinds of learning trends. And I get it all for free, learning on my own schedule, often on my smart phone.  I'm grateful for this new way to stay connected with the field and my colleagues. I'm "getting" what it means to find and nurture my own personal learning network. 

Because of the challenges, I now follow Mark Barnes, the educator and blogger behind Brilliant or Insane: Education on the Edge, His provocative ideas about assessment, testing, and learning bring me to today's prompt: "What are your dreams for education in the future?" 

Barnes advocates doing away with tests and grades. He's not against evaluating or assessing, but he is against the sort of standardized testing, the sort that privileges teaching for coverage rather than teaching for learning. 

Attitude of Gratitude #22: Mahjong & Family Traditions

I'm in that camp of folks who don't celebrate the holidays in a traditional way or the way my family  Partly because family is is all around the world. One brother and his family live in New Jersey, my other brother and his family are in the San Francisco Bay Area, and my sister and her family stay in Hawaii.

Another reason I don't "do" the holidays has to do with stress of doing those holidays "just right." I get anxiety attacks listening to friends kvetch about decorating their homes holidays, shopping for just the right gift for that hard to please relative, or planning the Food Network Fantasy Feast

All that pressure: blech!

So my answer for the  Attitude of Gratitude blog challenge prompt, "What are your family traditions you are most grateful for?" can't be about any traditional holiday gathering or a command performance of mandated jollity.

For me, the family tradition that makes me feel grateful would be our weekly mahjong games.  My parents would play with my siblings and me when we were kids. We played this Chinese game, a cross between dominoes, poker, and bridge, almost every week when we were preteens. Once we kids got old enough to drive and our peer became more important than our parents, we still played, once a month or so.  We played mahjong the way mt friends played Monopogy or Chutes and Ladders with their parents. 

Attitude of Gratitude #21: An Inspiring Read

TeachThought's  Attitude of Gratitude Blog Challenge prompt asks me to name the book I am thankful to have read and discuss how it inspires me to be better at what you do.

Whenever anyone asks me what book inspires me,  I typically answer, the book I'm currently reading. But the question asks what book inspired me, past tense. So of course, all the recent books I've read pop into my mind, fiction and non-fiction both. 

The inspirational book that pops into my head is bell hooks' Teaching To Transgress. Her words knock me out on so many levels. I read it oh, so many years ago when I took a class on how to tutor writing, when I considered pursuing a teaching career. 

It's been so long that it's time to dust it off and reread it, to check how her words resonate today. And perhaps to see how my own mindset about teaching has changed or evolved. Maybe just to get recharged. 

Something to read over Thanksgiving break. Actually, winter break sounds more reasonable. Thanksgiving is for . . . grading! 

What about you? What's a book that inspired you? 

Attitude of Gratitude #20: Relearning Life Lessons

According to Colbert, I must be young! 

Today's TeachThought's  Attitude of Gratitude blog challenge prompt makes me cringe. It's one of those questions that force me to be look inward, pushing me to be "mindful." Touch-feely questions raise  my cynicism-hackles. 

The cringe-causing query?  What is one life lesson that you are thankful for having learned? Eeeew. 

My strategy? Read what reflective teachers have to say, hoping their words shake loose ideas hidden in the cobwebby wrinkles of my brain. 

The blogger behind  Eat the Yolk  reminds me that teaching is like a roller coaster, full of uncertainty she can't control. The author of  Middle Management - A Teaching Journey  amplifies the theme, noting she can't manage everything or anyone. 

Attitude of Gratitude #19: Grateful for Mentors

Today's post responds to the Attitude of Gratitude Challenge prompt: "Tell someone you know how grateful you are for the work they do. Share your story here."

Last night, our college premiered our first monologue program featuring students reading their stories (think This American Life or Story Corps on NPR). Students performed at a local library, packed with students, family, friends, professors, and counselors from school. 

I played a role in the program, and I felt particular pride seeing students from our school shine. I also enjoyed working with a great bunch of faculty who served as writing coaches. [Side note: The program was sponsored by So Say We All, a San Diego creative arts non-profit agency devoted to helping people craft and tell their stories. Amazing stuff.] 

In the audience, I saw two former colleagues from the college where I used to work. They were the prime movers on their campus, the ones who promoted and organized the storytelling project. I participated, in a small way, and enjoyed the process immensely. I saw how the project invigorated my classroom and helped develop writers and their voices. 

Attitude of Gratitude #18: Colleagues Keep Me Afloat

My colleague wrote eloquently about the seasonal "Eeyore Days" that happen in November. I, too, experience the malaise she describes, right after Spring Break, too. 

I haven't quite got to the point where I'm so behind that all I want to do is weep, a typical feature of every semester. It's during those time of the year I particularly lean on my peers for support. 

Which brings me to the question for today's attitude of gratitude blog challenge question: What do you appreciate about your colleagues? In a word: Lots!

Knowing I'm not the only one struggling, falling behind on grading, or feeling frustrated with a particular teaching issue reassures me, reduces the social isolation. While I love the autonomy of my own classroom, camaraderie helps to know what I experiencing isn't unique. This collegiality, at least for me, is therapeutic.

My peers' intellectual generosity also energizes me, makes me a better teacher. Not a week goes by when I don't "steal" or hack a lesson plan from a colleague. And the feedback I get on how to solve teaching problems is invaluable. 

Yesterday, three of us ventilated about the ongoing process of balancing our role as gatekeepers (determining if students are ready for the next level of English) and cheerleaders (nurturing and encouraging student voices).  But instead of wallowing or complaining, they came up with the idea to meeting over the break to chat about what we can say in our syllabi and do in our classes to help make that balance more transparent. 

Our goal isn't to devise a rigid, official statement of expectations but to help make clear our role to students. Each group, students and teachers, have different sets assumptions about learning and our respective roles in the learning process. (Sidebar: Yes, I'm cribbing my notes from Rebecca Cox's  The College Fear Factor.)

I'm happy my peers are the kind of folks who'd like to spend time together to solve shared problems. I feel like part of a team. Feels the best times I had in graduate school. 

I'm also grateful for my morning commute with with a colleague/friend, a counselor and professor who teachers personal development. Sharing about learning objectives and what goes on in our classroom with him helps me see with a new set of eyes what I experience. As we spend time sipping coffee and maneuvering traffic, we informally discuss navigating the pitfalls of being educators from our respective departments. I get to take advantage of the lenses his discipline uses to approach teaching and learning. The caffeine and discussion equally invigorate.

How wonderful to know I'm on the same journey with folks in my own departments and those in other divisions. More importantly, how wonderful that we can, if we are willing, depend on each other to become more effective designers of educational experiences.

Intellectual generosity. Therapeutic goodies. Gotta ask the folks at human resources if my insurance covers my peers' billable hours - for services rendered!

Attitude of Gratitude #17: What a Difference a Year Makes

A year ago, I commuted between two different community colleges. Both campuses fed me professionally. My peers? Phenomenal. Inspirational. But not having my own space, a place to hang my hat, store my books, or meet with students was taxing. Not to mention having to find parking at two different sites a day or navigating the different cultural and bureaucratic norms of two different colleges.

So the obvious answer for today's Attitude of Gratitude Blog Challenge prompt, "One thing that is different from a year ago that I am grateful for. . . " would be landing a full-time position. 

Love what I get to do. Loved it as an adjunct, too. But I'd be lying if I said the full-time pay, benefits, and security haven't changed my life, dramatically. There have been emotional/psychological changes, too. 

What I've realized post-facto is how being an adjunct messed with my self-esteem and self-worth. I grew up in the era when not having a full-time job or facing joblessness was a sign of a personal failing, a character flaw. I realized just how much of the meritocracy ethos - work  hard, and get rewarded accordingly - I had internalized.

When I began teaching, the latest budget crunch was in full swing, and there were several times my adjunct position was in jeopardy. I faced several summers wondering how I'd pay the rent, and because of the vagaries of different districts' calendars and hiring schedules, I lost priority at one school when I had to accept an offer at another. Jobs were scarce, and I had to take what was offered. 

I'm aware of discussions on education websites, notably the Chronicle of Higher Education, where some have called adjuncts whiners for making, what I believe, are legitimate observations and claims about how their/our work is devalued, how adjuncts should have been wiser about our career choices. 

Perhaps I should have been more practical, less idealistic. But that's not the argument that I'm interested here. 

I'm just saying how funky it was to be find myself on the verge of unemployment for reasons not having to do qualifications, capability, or willingness. My employment situation was up for grabs for reasons out of my control. I became profoundly aware that social, historical, and political situations truly shaped my choices and options. I shouldn't have been surprised to see how agency, to a large degree, is contingent. But I was, and that messed with my sense of self. 

Worse, there I was in the classroom, extolling the virtues of an education to students, arguing that college offers choices and security, when I myself had largely lost both, even with (humble-brag alert) two post-graduate degrees. 

I'm only just realizing how deeply psychologically taxing it was to be a seasonal worker, to be that close to losing work twice and three times a year. So, while the money and benefits are awesome, I am also hella grateful for the peace of mind having a full-time gig affords me. 

Here's to staying grateful for what I've got, and for advocating for adjunct equity. Or better, actual full-time positions for the folks who make it possible for others to have careers. 

Attitude of Gratitude #16: Connected Educator

TeachThought's  Attitude of Gratitude Blog Challenge question of the day got me Googling for resources. In order to answer, "What is the most powerful aspect of being a connected educator? What are you grateful for?" I had to find out exactly what a "connected educator" is.

My cursory research failed to uncover a single, unitary meaning, but a common theme did emerge. Connected learning has to do with leveraging social media, digital technology, and mobile devices to foster connections and collaborations inside and outside the classroom. 

A post in The Learning Network, an online affiliate of the New York Times, says that connected learning has to do with "using technology to build communities and share knowledge." I'm down with that definition. And I am on the path to being connected.

The blog post Ten Tips for Becoming an Connected Educator claims that being a connected educator has to do with habits of the mind and heart. Sure, being connected is about technology. But being connected, according to blogger Elana Leoni of Edutopia, has just as much to do with embracing mistakes, expecting the unexpected, and "just jumping in" as it does with technology. This sounds like me, too. Or at least the "me" when I'm at my best.

In terms of what I use to build community and to share knowledge, Twitter, Pinterest, and Blogger are my three "go-to" social media platforms. In addition to "pushing" content to students via Twitter hash tags, I tweet out to musicians, poets, and scholars who we study. 

We've virtually connected with folks in Colorado, Canada, Australia, and Great Britain, demonstrating how what we study in our corner of the world is of interest to folks on the other side of the planet. Plus, students get a kick out of seeing when someone we are studying favorites or retweets a comment from our class. They've even started to tweet out to people we've studied, too. 

I use Twitter to follow #reflective teachers, #sdawp, #nwp, and #cwp, and a host of other educators and education groups. I also follow journalists, authors, and entertainers. Pinterest is where I go for inspiration and ideas. There's a feed to my tweets and pins in the column on your right. 

I've only been using social media for professional development for a few months. But the effect has been phenomenal. I don't feel so alone. I feel part of a larger community. I have access to so many great resources, ideas, and support from around the world. On my time. And in the short blasts characteristic of tweets, pins, and blogs (that aren't as wordy as mine!). 

Post-Game Wrap Up: Reflective Teacher Blog Challenge

Every major writing project in my classes includes a reflect-on-your-writing component where I ask writers to consider their writing process, explain their approach, and discuss what they've gained. These meta-commentaries are like a "chalk-talk" after a football game or notes after a play's dress-rehearsal. 

It's that reflection after publishing when writers ask themselves, "What were the intentions behind the choices, implicit and explicit, I made?" "What were the consequences, positive and negative, that followed from those decisions?" "What strategies can I revise and build upon next time around?" "Which strategies should I jettison?" 

I used to dread reading notes after high-school drama rehearsals, afraid the voice captain would announce I wasn't cutting it or director would cut me from the cast. 

But no. The best post-rehearsal sessions had to do with reflective revision, about building from our strengths and minimizing weaknesses. I've striven to make the the "post-rehearsal" self-evaluations in my class keep with that spirit, celebrating effort well spent and resolving problems. 

I finished TeachThought's Reflective Teaching 30 Day Blog Challenge a few weeks ago, I figure I need to reflect on my own blogging process, on what I took -away and what I've discovered or rediscovered about myself as teacher. After all, the theme of my blog is to "feel the burn" I expect student writers to experience in my classroom, Here goes. 

I. Got. So. Much. Too much to fit into a single post. 

I agree with my friend and colleague, the blogger behind Eat the Yolk, who talks about the boost, purpose, and inspiration she gains from blogging about teaching. I also concur with what Refranz Davis has to say about blogging in her post on Edutopia, "Reflecting for Change, From Journaling to Blogging."

The most surprising lesson I gleaned from the experience is that I can't look to students to validate me.  I can't expect their reactions to me and my assignments to fill me up. I can't depend on their affection or gratitude. Students don't have to like me. Indeed, if I do my job correctly, students may not. And for sure, students can't appreciate how hard I work or how much energy it takes to prepare lessons and assess their learning.  I can't put too much stock in their opinions about me, at least as far as my own worth is concerned. That's not their charge. 


As the saying goes, "What other people think of me is none of my business." 

I thought I understood that concept. And I did, intellectually.  But it wasn't until I started blogging regularly that I understood on an experiential basis how much I had invested in my students' opinion of me. As I began blogging and reading my peers' posts, I found myself looking to teachers for validation. My colleagues are the only ones who fully appreciate the ups and downs of teaching. They are the only ones who "get it." Placing the burden of "getting it" on my students is close to a boundary violation, expecting more out our relationship than is ethically responsible. 

Reading my colleagues posts, peers from across the nation and around the world, I found richer, more meaningful affirmation than I ever felt from students. I felt a quality of connected to my profession that I hadn't felt before or had only experienced as momentary flashes at staff development programs. At the risk of sounding too much like Sally Field, I began to feel heard, understood. In retrospect, I see how my stress level gradually reduced; I no longer feel on the verge of burning out. 

Nurturing community with teachers, even virtually, mitigates my tendency to depend on my relationships with students for my self-worth.. And without that unspoken expectation of appreciation haunting my interactions with students, classes became relaxed, easier, less taxing.  I didn't need students to like me (at least not as much as I did before). 

Had anyone suggested that I'd make that discovery by blogging, I would have felt insulted, defensive even. I know about boundaries. I know about appropriate relationships. I have a degree in counseling, dammit!

But I've been pleasantly surprised to make this discovery, which is probably less about a single event than it is an unfolding, a gradual learning process. Participating in the San Diego Area Writing Project and getting a full-time position are the two other influential moments that likely spurred this revelation. 

Without the regular, formal  written reflection of blogging, I doubt I'd recognize at an experiential level how much I need a community of peers. I'm not some lone wolf out there on my own. I'm a member of a dedicated, loving, community of professionals with whom I can celebrate my successes and lean on when times get rough. 

Because of TeachThought's  September Reflective Teaching Blogging Challenge and the other professional blessings I recently  experienced, I commit to nurturing connections with my professional peers - virtually and in real-time. And I commit to building the kind of teacher-student relationships that foster the healthy learning experiences that students deserve.