Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Attitude of Gratitude #5: The Challenge is Increasingly Challenging!

Today's prompt asks me which of my strengths gives me the most gratitude. I don't like questions like these, the dreaded "What are your best attributes?" or " What makes you the best candidate for the job?" interview questions. Blech. 

Perhaps I'm anxious about naming my strengths for fear that I'll be responsible for living up to that strength. Or that I'll be revealed as a phony because I have deluded myself that I have any strengths. 

Maybe I'm afraid, at some level, of jinxing a good thing. I know have strengths. But part of me worries that mentioning them will break some sort of spell.  Because I must confess, I do feel proud about my strengths. 

Maybe my reticence is about subconscious vanity, a prideful attitude that I am only barely keeping under wraps. There's a Freudian term for that, isn't there? A taboo thingie? A rule against something I really, really want to do. Brag. Boast. Make myself out to be some kind of teaching-god.

Today is truly about feeling the burn. 

At the risk of revealing my Mr. Hyde-Pride beast, I admit that a willingness to grow is one of my strengths. I like to try new approaches, pushing myself to continually revise my practice. This openness gives me great satisfaction, keeping me and my lessons fresh. My willingness to grow decreases potential for burn out.

For that, I am grateful. Very rarely do I wake up dreading coming to work, only when I haven't finished grading a project or homework, which is another blog post for a different kind of challenge. Blech.